Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The begining of the end of my rut.

Basement carpet meets Brown marker

Katie tells me it was DJ

DJ tells me that he only did the body head and legs...DJ can't do his letters yet...
They didn't seem to understand why I wanted them to clean it up... This happened during the first week of March, I had been in a low for awhile and couldn't seem to shake it. You know I'm having a hard time with parenting when there is cereal in my house. Not only did I buy Cheerios, but we had it for supper.  That may not seem like anything serious to you, but for me, it was a sign that I was just done. On this particular day, we had a great morning, and then within ten minutes of being home, they coloured on the carpet downstairs. This man was about 8 feet tall. I was furious. Not just because they had coloured on the carpet, but because Katie came upstairs and told me that DJ coloured on the carpet, denying any involvement in it. I stayed pretty calm, until partway through cleaning it, when they started whining about how they shouldn't have to clean it, and I was even helping them! What put me over the edge though, wasn't the older two, it was the baby who was walking on it while we were trying to clean, and them proceeded to pull my hair really hard when I was in a position where I couldn't do anything about it. It just escalated from there. The baby got a little smack on the leg, and the kids were screamed at because I had just "spanked" the baby and had promised her that I would never ever spank her. I felt horrible.

I posted these pictures to remind me that there are some things that you just look back on and laugh about, but to me this will never be one of them. There was too much negative emotion involved in that hour or two for me to ever laugh about. Instead, I wanted to put this here as a reminder that even though there are bad days, it does get better and I wouldn't change it for anything. This incident just happened to signal the end of my rut. I'm happy and am having fun being a parent again. It's all just part of the roller coaster of life. Every moment, good or bad, helps to shape us into who we want to be.

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